My Happiness

My happiness is not but alongside green fields and vast mountains.
It longs for crystal clear waters rolling up white sands or down dark, smooth pebbles.
It is full of the joy of chirping birds and galloping wild horses,
It is windy and carries red dry leaves and colorful, fluttering butterflies.
My happiness is that of deep blue skies crowded with pregnant white clouds,
That of cool desert dunes under starry night skies, lightened by full moons and fireflies.

The joy that overwhelms my soul wouldn't be without laughing kids,
Dear friends, the smiles of all whom I cherish;
The warm arms of my beloved, the round, sweet face of my own child.
My happiness only exists within love; it feeds from it
For, in this world, nothing else matters.

On being loved

I believe that the biggest reward of loving someone is not being loved back, but love itself. It is transforming, challenging, makes one feel alive, makes one feel replenished, makes one feel invincible, makes one feel complete. It is so good that it almost doesn’t matter that it also makes one feel miserable from time to time.
But all of the above are no excuse for being half-ass loved.

No matter who you are, what you believe in or what you do, if you chose someone to love and this someone is around, he better love you back right.

And I’m using “he” in a very deliberate way, as males are specialists – for way too many different reasons – in not committing to love. Actually, the ones who are really in love can commit quite well. The rest, most unfortunately, are a bunch of cowards who would rather have a herd of elephants on fire trump them, than let you know they don’t really feel that way about you.
So, here is my list of bold statements for my beloved female friends who may not have been loved the way they deserved lately:

• If he loves you, he will say so. He will probably say so daily.
• If he loves you, he will kiss you goodbye, in the lips, every single time he leaves the premises.
• If he truly loves you, he will tell you how beautiful you are; how lovely you look; how wonderful you were tonight. And he will say it plenty of times.
• If he truly, truly loves you, he will rescue you from anything and anyone. And he will always find you, no matter where life or yourself decide to hide. Even if you just met. Even if all he knows is your nickname and a friend, of a friend, of a friend of a guy who may know your actual name.
• If he loves you, he will watch you while you are asleep, and smile like a fool when you wake up, open your eyes, and look back at him.
• If he loves you, he will treat you like a queen, and call you his princess, honey, sweetheart, baby, his love.
• If he truly loves you, he will overcome jealousy, poverty, serious differences of opinion, his mother disapproving of you and, most of all, any kind of lack of time. He will never be so busy that he won’t spare a minute to call you.
• If he truly, truly loves you, you will feel as if you are living in a bit of a fairy tale. Life can be hard as nails outside your relationship, but when he is with you, you will feel there is always a way. Always a chance at happiness.

And I should know. Trust me on this.

If he is not all of the above, just cut down your losses, dump his sorry ass, and go find someone who truly deserves you. You are meant to be loved. Very well loved. Even if for a while you will just be loved by the one who matters most: yourself.

I know it sounds easier said than done. I know it sounds like a bunch of clichés, but life is just too short for half-ass anything.

Happy Valentine’s!

What’s on my mind?

Here is a list of the things that come to my mind right before I post my actual status at FaceBook, right after reading its customary question: “what’s on your mind?”

·         I wish I knew. There are so many layers.

·         How should I know for sure? There’s so much going on! There’s work, and parenting, and marriage, poverty, the future of humankind, super strings theory, God, Obama, the menu for tomorrow’s lunch, Lost’s Finale, eating healthy… Damn! I’m getting restless. I’m sooo confused.

·         Why do you wanna know?

·         What does it all mean? The Dharma Initiative. The Others. The nuclear explosion. The two plane crashes. Leaving the island. Coming back to the island. The parallel reality. So many unanswered questions? (I wonder if there’s a PR strategy in there…)

·         If I put a link to this cool HP initiative in there would they think I’m a douchebag?

·         If I put a link to my new blog post would they think I’m a showoff?

·         None of your damn business.

·         If I posted what I’m really thinking would I have any friends left? Would I go to hell? Is there a hell? I wonder where it would be, and if I can make some improvements when I get there…

·         Why do you care?

·         Maybe I should put something more useful in there, instead of what I’m doing or thinking. Like a nice, smart quote from Da Vinci, or Einstein?!

·         Maybe I should be more personal so that my friends and family know what I’ve been up to, instead of all these intellectual, or self-development crap…

·         Trust me, you don’t wanna know.

·         Sex, sex, more sex. But I’m sure I wouldn’t get away with posting this at FB.

·         What do my friends really think when they read my status? I think I don’t wanna know.

·         Too many Brazilians here now. Maybe I should put a translated version, like Paulo Coelho?

·         Why do I bother?

·         Who am I really writing this to?

·         Nothing that matters anything to anyone but myself.

·         What’s the meaning of life? What’s reality? Am I really here?

·         F*@#! That’s my 5^th status update today. How do I shut down my mind?

·         Nah! I shouldn’t write that.

·         Uhm! This may be funny.

·         All right! If you may know…

Little Miss Sunshine Strikes Again

I will not wish you happy holidays.

I’d rather wish you a Belated (or Repeat) Eid Moubarak; a Joyful Dwali, a Happy Chanukah; a Merry Christmas; a Wonderful New Year, or whatever else matches your beliefs, or makes you happy.

For - as my dear friend - you know my friends belong to a multitude of countries and cultures that encompass the entire planet. My friends belong to all races and religions. And, yet, they see no distance, no color, no intolerance. My friends were born in enemy countries, and yet they sit together, laugh together, dream together. They kiss and hold each other in blissful ignorance of geopolitics. They make me proud every day. And hopeful.

So, now that we have all completed another trip around our beautiful and small yellow star, and get another chance at a do over, what I really wish you and all of us is that, one day, the whole of humankind acts just like my very precious group of friends.

We have just had one tough year and, God knows, we all deserve some piece of mind and happiness.
So, may 2010 bring you countless blessings of the sort that makes us laugh to the brink of tears and bellyaches.

Love, Dri.

Beyond the Social

One of my friends wrote at Twitter that, when it comes to social networks, there is a big difference between having something to say and having to say something.

This may seem obvious at first, but for a lot of people I know – myself included – it really doesn’t make a difference. And it shouldn’t.
Sure it is nice to have something relevant to post. It makes us proud of the contribution. And, paraphrasing Paulo Coelho (Yes, I know. My old friends would say I don’t exactly appreciate him from a literary quality point of view. But he is a nice dude.), we can use Twitter to spread Good.

However, when we post day-to-day silly stuff, we are not necessarily being needy, or egocentric. We just want the people we care about, and that may be hundreds or thousands of miles away from us, to have an idea of what we’ve been up to. It is far from ideal and only a resemblance of a relationship, but it is so much more than nothing.

If posting that I’ve been sick in bed will get my busy brother out of his impossible routine to stop and chat for a while, who cares this is irrelevant for more than 99.99% of mankind?
If writing that I will be in San Francisco 10 days from now will give my team the feeling we are always in touch, despite being scattered across two continents, so be it! It does not matter that it wasn’t meaningful or witty.
If looking at sporadic pictures is what it takes to see my nephews, nieces and the children of my dearly missed friends grow up, I will embrace it gratefully and gracefully.

So, we write to share. We write to cherish the ones we love.
We write to amuse, to woo, to impress, to shock, to warn, to wonder.
We write not only because we want our existences to mean something and leave figments of our hopeful and dreamy minds recorded, even if for brief posterity. We write because we want the people we know to keep knowing us while we change these daily little bits; as we learn from new experiences they cannot witness; as we have no choice but to hold and touch only their smiling frozen images with our souls.

Unfortunate

Nothing can make me happy today.
I’m filled with the absence of sunlight, excitement, motivation, health.
It is funny when, from time to time, we have to face a confluence of small mishaps: the cold viruses to be endured; a friend that has left; the supporter that’s gone to the dark side; the lips that you miss.
And if the sun was shining – even in 40 degrees weather – then perhaps I could feel more contented.
Circumstances like these impair my focus on the small daily blessings, like being alive and able to day-dream. For all can happen in one’s mind.
But it could be worse! We could be trying to close a quarter under impossible goals; or planning for a following quarter with major cuts in budget.
I often wonder what would be the fun in living an uneventful life, but in days like this, events have gone too far and, just sleeping for 24 hours, seem like an unexplored blessing.

Birthday

I haven't written for quite a while, though I have done it in my head a thousand times. It seems there is an abysm between my will and the blank pages - both real and virtual.

But today is my beloved's birthday and I dared write a small poem. My first one in English. And here it goes:

The years may come and go, but you remain
Forever trussed in my heart, or shall I say
Imprinted in my retina, the brightest light
Embossed in my skin, so that I’m branded
And I forever will revolve around you, dear
Like the earth that brings us one more year
Pulled towards the sun like faithful lover
The same sun that lights your plentiful smile
And is surely to stop for quite a while
The day you’re gone.